Bonding with your baby - why does a newborn need to be the centre of your universe? What is the biological magic that is called bonding with your baby? Many parents fall head-over-heels for their newborn baby the moment they lay eyes on them.
Many of these new parents describe this feeling (of meeting their baby for the first time) with the same intensity as they felt when they were falling in love as a couple.(even greater!)
Behavioural scientists call this bonding, and most believe that this bonding with your baby is extremely vital to the baby's well being. Sometimes this process doesn't happen overnight, in fact it could take several months to really attach to your baby. However long it actually takes, studies in infant development have shown conclusively that a child's future is partially determined by this vital bonding process. Having this undeniably passionate love coming at them from at least one parental figure helps to develop them psychologically and intellectually. | Psychologists believe that life is far more difficult for children who never really received this bonding with a loving adult. A secure ego, a feeling of confidence and well-being, an ability to withstand peer pressure when necessary. These are all attributes which develop partially because of the confidence that an unconditional, passionate love can impart. To be able to say no to drugs, sex and alcohol (just because everyone else is doing it) is believed to be possible more easily by young people who have enjoyed this very strong love as a child which gves them a strong sense of self and less of a need to constantly be seeking approval (or love) from others. This love is not to be confused with a lack of strong parenting and disciplinary boundaries which if absent could also lead to the child having less security in setting their own boundaries. Whatever your parenting situation, know that the love and care you are instilling in your infant is as important that the milk he drinks and the air he breathes. |
Experts also say that love and nurturing of an infant actually assists in the brain development of the child. Brain connections (billions of them) are made through experience. Affection, tactile stimulation and loving communication make very positive connections in a babies brain.
Sadly the reverse is true also. Lack of positive, loving stimulus and/or neglect or abuse can lead to development on a more stunted level! The first 3 years in a healthy, nurturing environment are actually critical to all areas of child development, physical, emotional and cognitive. This love and positive stimulus can help 'immunize' a child against the stresses and negative forces that they may face throughout their life.
If you or your partner are actually struggling with the bonding with your baby, there is help for you, you are not alone and it is imperative that you seek out a referral to someone specialized in this area. Your G.P. or Maternal Child Health nurse will be able to advise you. Jen - hafu.com | |
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