Look after your relationship

You're rapt. You're also anxious and a little overwhelmed. Guess what? So is your partner.
By Kathryn Chan

However your relationship was or is as a couple, pregnancy changes it irreversably. Your focus, once centered on just the two of you will naturally switch to the coming baby. This is your transition to parenthood, an experience that can really strengthen your bond as a couple if you can communicate and remember to nurture your relationship.

Before your baby arrives"All parents should realize that they must consciously decide to make their relationship a priority after the baby is born," says Mark E. Crawford, Ph.D., author of When Two Become Three: Nurturing Your Marriage After Baby Arrives (Revell). "Talk to each other about both the excitement and the anxiety associated with becoming a new parent. Expectant parents, especially fathers-to-be, often keep their feelings of anxiety inside."

Men experience the prospect of a forthcoming baby in different ways. Reactions range from exhibiting sympathetic pregnancy symptoms to becoming violent toward the expectant woman.

Despite such sobering information, becoming a parent ranks among life's most radical and exciting experiences—and one that may bring up new emotions for both you and your partner. He may feel left out of your pregnancy experience, but don't expect your partner to spontaneously communicate how he's feeling. Think of yourself as a human talking stick and initiate a discussion about parenthood and what it means to you as a couple. Both of you are likely experiencing not just joy and hope, but also worry.

"Talking helps normalize feelings and [promotes] an understanding that everyone has anxieties such as, 'Will I be a good parent? Will the baby be healthy?'" says Crawford. Being mindful of your partner's emotional life helps build a reservoir of good will that will fortify you both as you embrace the challenges of new parenthood.